matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I stole a fireplace last night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize