All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
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