This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize