Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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