I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize