One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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