3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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