my mouth tastes like poor choices
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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