i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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