just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize