Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
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we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
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do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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