still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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