Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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