She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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