No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize