I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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