hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize