if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
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There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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