She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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