I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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