You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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