just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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