so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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