Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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