Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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