dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As shirtless as possible
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I need a beard to bite.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize