so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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