Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
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It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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