Cold hands, warm shart.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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