Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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