Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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