I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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