I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize