after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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