i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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