i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
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Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
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When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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