I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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