12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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