Texts From Last Night

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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"

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  (215): i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk" http://tfl.nu/65e9
  Replies (27) Good night (4281) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (281): View more from Texas

  so now she's a stripper

  (1-281): View more from Texas

  can't say i'm surprised

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  (281): so now she's a stripper (1-281): can't say i'm surprised http://tfl.nu/r749
  Replies (7) Good night (2000) Bad night (433) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Toronto

  Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.

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  (905): Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee. http://tfl.nu/8vei
  Replies (13) Good night (810) Bad night (3568) Order T-Shirt
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?

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  (440): dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top? http://tfl.nu/cai4
  Replies (20) Good night (6163) Bad night (1249) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.

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  (978): So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease. http://tfl.nu/08pd
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.

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  (703): She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself. http://tfl.nu/tn32
  Replies (17) Good night (4099) Bad night (1875) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.

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  (505): My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help. http://tfl.nu/hde2
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her

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  (540): She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her http://tfl.nu/huvk
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness

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  (386): I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness http://tfl.nu/l65r
  Replies (17) Good night (3053) Bad night (627) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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  (707): New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice http://tfl.nu/6azx
  Replies (6) Good night (575) Bad night (1046) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU

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  (202): is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU http://tfl.nu/sbbn
  Replies (8) Good night (974) Bad night (493)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight

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  (616): Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight http://tfl.nu/1hmk
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  This ER has an aquarium in it!!!

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  (609): This ER has an aquarium in it!!! http://tfl.nu/uric
  Replies (11) Good night (1656) Bad night (349) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right

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  (703): Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right http://tfl.nu/qcjq
  Replies (7) Good night (1612) Bad night (529) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.

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  (903): Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned. http://tfl.nu/e67l
  Replies (9) Good night (1216) Bad night (622) Order T-Shirt

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