There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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