This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize