maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize