I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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