I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize