you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
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Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
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I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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