Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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