I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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