i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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