You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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