I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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